Well this is ugly. The Spectator magazine, around since 1828 with a paid circulation of 72,000 and a popular website, recently ran an article by one Melissa Kite titled “The dietary obnoxiousness of the Catholic Church”, with a lovely byline that reads “Gluten-free Eucharist? I suppose it was only a matter of time before the Pope gave in to dietary fads.”
Here’s the link. Please don’t read on a full stomach.
Now first…let’s start off with some good news. I used to write these kinds of posts all the time. If you go back to my diaper blogging years, I was constantly calling the media out for crap like this. But recently? Crickets. Meaning the media has mostly moved on or our efforts are making a difference. Either way, it’s a step in the right direction.
But you know what they say…one step forward and two steps back. And this article is a major step back. I should have known it was a sh*t publication when I saw another article on their site titled “If only Bruce Springsteen could write as well as he sings.” I think Bruce will be the first to tell you that he writes better than he sings.
“Remember all the movies, Terry, we’d go see?/ Trying to learn how to walk like heroes we thought we had to be/ And after all this time to find we’re just like all the rest/ Stranded in the park and forced to confess/ To hiding on the backstreets.”
Nobody puts Brucie in the corner.
Ok…moving on…let’s break the article down, Dude-style.
Melissa Says: A few moments after saying the communion rite, the priest looked at his congregation and uttered easily the most disturbing thing I have ever heard said in a church: ‘If anyone wants a gluten-free Eucharist, please queue up on this side.’
Dude says: Two points: 1) If that sentence seriously disturbs you…I think it’s time to reevaluate your life a bit; and 2) If that is one of the most disturbing things you’ve heard in church EVER, consider yourself pretty blessed.
Melissa says: I have been going to mass off and on like the bad Catholic I am all my life but I have never heard anything so ludicrous.
Dude says: Don’t limit your badness to just being a Catholic. It seems to me like you are full of badness.
Melissa says: My boyfriend whispered to me ‘They’ll be offering halal communion next.’
Dude says: For the record, Halal is an Arabic word that means “permissible.” In terms of food, it means food that is permissible according to Islamic law. So you’re ok dictating what Catholics should and shouldn’t eat, but not other religions? Ok…got it.
Melissa says: I suppose it was only a matter of time before the Pope gave in to food allergies. He won’t allow divorce, extra-marital sex or birth control but wheat intolerance? The might of Rome is no match for wheat intolerance.
Dude says: Thanks for the reminder of why I haven’t been to church in 30 years. And by the way, celiac disease, which you fail to mention in the ENTIRE article, is not a food allergy. But I get the feeling you really don’t care about accuracy. Just clicks.
Melissa says: While every poor soul in the developing world is happy to eat anything, every spoilt idiot in the western world is allergic to some perfectly innocuous foodstuff that they claim will kill them if they eat a molecule of it. No dietary assumption is too illogical or too scientifically baseless for us to trumpet it.
Dude says: I agree the Western world’s diet, for the most part, is absolute crap. But does that mean allergies don’t exist? People don’t get sick and potentially die from various food issues? Are you that wrapped up in your little cocoon to understand this? Or you do understand it but you just totally lack empathy?
Melissa says: Who are these people who have demanded their Catholic priest offer them a gluten-free Eucharist? For truly they are on a whole new level of dietary obnoxiousness.
Dude says: They are 1% of the world’s population that has celiac disease and 6% of the world’s population that has non-celiac gluten sensitivity. And if I were you, I would not be throwing around the term “obnoxiousness” so lightly. Look inside.
Melissa says: And why has the mighty Catholic Church made such an ass of itself by giving in to them?
Dude says: Because they have a heart. Because they have compassion. Because they are educated. Pretty much all of the things you aren’t.
Melissa says: What next? The priest asking parents if they’d like to see the children’s menu, where the ‘Happy Communion’ features mini Eucharists with smiley faces on them?
Dude says: No words.
Melissa says: Would not a better route have been for the church to tell those worshippers agitating for a special menu to pray for their digestive problems to be relieved? I’m sure if they have faith, their dietary burdens will be lifted from them.
Dude says: That’s right, because prayer cures everything. Dang…if I just started praying, my celiac disease would go away. As would my back pain. And I never would have gotten cancer.
This article sinks to the level of idiocy that I have not seen since the early days of my blog. But congratulations Melissa and The Spectator. You’ve clearly shown that we still have a long way to go in terms of celiac awareness. I’ll just keep on keeping on, while you keep living in a world of judgmental ignorance. So typical of today’s world. If it doesn’t affect you, it’s not important.
Folks…let ’em know what you think.
Ok Bruce…you hack…take me back to my happy place. Take me to the Backstreets please.